this is me making a REAL choice

I'm disgusted. Disgusted, enraged and even more disenchanted with both the culture and religion I was born into. Specifically, the way the two have been working together among some smaller groups on this island to discriminate and judge an entire demographic of people who are asking for so little. Specifically, I am referring to Bill 138. Those of you from Guam are probably familiar with this bill. Those who aren't will understand what I'm talking about after reading this entry.

I'd also like to say that I, by no means, am finding fault with the core of what I consider "my culture". I am not finding fault in the people of Guam, an island I cherish more than I can express. I am also not normally a person who is fundamentally against any organized religion. I understand the need for faith. It's a faith I do not have though I usually respect the faith of others. By this post, I do not intend to call out every Chamoru or Guamanian or Catholic or Christian. I am making this post in reference to the people who CHOOSE to believe in things I find disgusting. I am making this post in reference to the people who CHOOSE to express their beliefs in a certain manner that rocks me to my core.

First of all, I am not an objective person. In fact, I am rather weary of people who cling to objectivity as a crutch, believing this the only reasonable way to analyze and deal with situations that involve people, people's feelings, people's emotions, people's ways of life. However, there are certain things that I try to look at as objectively as possible. I believe that no matter what your way of life, no one has to accept it. People have every right to choose to either condone or condemn another's lifestyle, whether that lifestyle is one of choice or one that is the most natural way a person is able to live.

That said, whatever one's beliefs or morals, it again comes down to choice. One's religion is quite possibly the most significant choice one can make. It often represents the body of rules outside of the government that inspires most of our decision making.

I am not a person of faith. That is my choice. That is how I've chosen to live my life. Whether one agrees or disagrees, I understand myself and have the best perspective of my life experience and am, at this point, the best judge of how to deal with the world around me. Religion, the one I lived for the first part of my life, is not the best way for me to deal.

Just as it is anyone's choice whether or not to accept the thoughts, words and actions of the gay community, it is my choice whether or not to accept those who believe that being gay is wrong. And I don't accept it. I do not accept any person who does not support the rights of man, gay or straight. I do not accept a religion that preaches that homosexuality is wrong. I choose to find such beliefs disgusting. I choose to believe that homosexuality is not a choice.

I choose to be logical. Homosexuality as a choice is not logical.

I've watched as a reverend spoke out at a public hearing, listening to this man who understands so little as he spoke out as a person whose vocation it is to instruct and educate, albeit in a religious setting. I've sat in church (only there out of respect for mourning loved ones), aghast that they would add in an extra prayer at the end of the mass, with the only intention to speak out against same-sex marriages. I've heard people blame the threat of typhoons on the proposed bill, saying that a destructive force of nature is God's way of punishing those who desire to pass a bill authorizing same-sex civil unions, by far the most inflammatory thing I've heard so far and I've heard plenty. I've read the criticism of Bill 138, people citing the discriminatory nature of it, and I wonder how one could be so illogical to not understand why Bill 138 was written so, not realizing that those stipulations were not motivated by the gay community and its supporters, but by those who are against same-sex marriages because of the erroneous claim that it will allow people who are not actually gay to apply for such unions for special benefits associated with marriage. (Because heterosexual people are above marriage for convenience? Because a man and woman would never enter into a marriage with the single purpose to receive marital benefits?)

As an adult with a sound mind, I believe that we can choose what we are and are not offended by. I don't often choose offense. I don't like to give another person's actions or words power over my emotions. But this is something I choose to find offense in. I am offended that there are people I love who are discriminated against, often by the very church they serve religiously. I am offended that people believe that any kind of natural disaster is the act of a God to punish the very people you believe he created. I am offended that good people, smart people, kind people, interesting people, ANY people are made to feel betrayed by their own loved ones and neighbors, simply because they happen to love someone who is of the same gender.

I would also like to say that I know there are people of faith who accept anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation. I know there are people who find it wrong but would not dare to tell another how to live his or her life or feel that those feelings should be related to laws outside of the church. They are not the people this blog entry is about.

And if this offends any who are close to me, by all means let me know. Come to me and tell me that my thoughts offend you. Perhaps we can discuss it when emotions are not that high. Be forewarned, I am deeply moved by this issue and my emotions are a big part of it. Perhaps we will not ever see eye-t0-eye. Perhaps your foundation is what offends me and mine is what offends you. And that, again, would be a choice.